Although this is
really a sewing blog, it is also a place where I share my thoughts and feelings
about things, although infrequently. Right now, I feel the need to share
something weighing heavily on my mind. If you have thoughts, feelings, or
ideas, please feel free to comment.
I am trying to
determine when it is time to walk away from a friendship, a relationship, even
a family relationship?
Why is it that so many people in our lives play games? Why
can’t we all be real and just be who we are? Why can’t we make our opinions
known without the fear of being condemned because we believe differently than
someone else? Why does what we believe to be a discussion turn have to turn into
a confrontation with someone being right and someone else being wrong?
Lately, I frequently find myself doing something I don’t want
to do to fulfill someone else’s expectations and not disappoint others. I am trying
to remember once again the power to say no. I don’t like feeling obligated, and
am generally shy and introverted, so I am often wanting to spend time alone
instead of with others. I need alone time to feed my soul, unlike extroverts
who need to be around others.
I’ve been contemplating
this for about a month now, and I keep remembering the poem that goes…People
come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
I found the following on a blog and I’m trying to figure out
what is working and not working in my life. I’m feeling overwhelmed and like I
just want to go back to my former preferences of being alone most of the time
and not interacting with others except by choice.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually
to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come
to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to
be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient
time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they
act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that
our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The
prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is
because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you
an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something
you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and
put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your
life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
– Author Unknown
How do you select friends, and as an adult do you find it
difficult or easy? Do you consider many people friends? Do you consider casual
acquaintances or do you only consider those people friends who you enjoy doing
things with? Have you lived in the same town all or most of your life and your
friends have been with you from childhood? Have you moved to a new location and
had to start over? How and where did you meet compatible people?
How important is it that you and your friends agree about
things and have a lot of things in common? Do you have one friend who shares one
activity or interest, and another friend for another interest and so on? If you’re
a more or less introvert, what causes you to chose a specific person as a
friend or do you fall into a friendship by having someone else continue to pursue
you and then allowing it to happen?
Do you believe you need to have shared values and beliefs to
be friends? How about wanting to do the same things?
The majority of my friends over the last ten plus years are
women I have met in sewing classes and we had that connection. Some I have other
connections with like Phyllis, who is another avid mystery reader, and with whom
I share book suggestions and thoughts. She will actually write a critique of
the books she reads, which I find wonderful to read, but impossible to do. I
can tell you when I like something but can’t give a synopsis of the books I
read. My mind doesn’t work like that. Although I’ve always been an avid reader,
book reports were absolutely torture. At the same time, she loves going to
clubs and learning new things like embroidery club, knitting club, etc.
Another friend, Barbara, and I have shared a love of sewing, travel,
the real estate industry, energy work, life plans, goal setting, and
motivational beliefs as well as many spiritual beliefs. We have taken a lot of classes
together over the years. We are at different life stages now and I am finding
we’re not connecting at the same levels as before, but that shared history is
there. And I really like her outgoing personality.
My new friends are people who live near me. We are part of a
group that does Aqua Exercise several times a week. The friendships have grown
over more than a year. But currently, with one exception, we don’t spend a lot
of time together outside the pool. I am teaching one of my friends to sew, and
another is also a gardener, so we do have that in common.
I find it difficult to understand how anyone can be
interested in watching sports on TV. I find it incredibly boring. I don’t know the
people, and don’t much care about what’s going on. I generally don’t know who
is playing in the World Series or even the Super Bowl. I don’t even watch the
Olympics. Don’t want to watch them and don’t understand the hoopla surrounding
them, although I do get that for a lot of people, it’s a huge deal they find
imperative--- and they wouldn’t not watch.
I’m not into organized religion, and again, know that for
many it is very much something that is important and takes up a lot of their
time, including for some it being a very big part of their social life. I find
it interesting intellectually to see that, but don’t find it something I would
ever be involved with. I’m not sure what they get out of their devotions. We do
our own thing spiritually but consider that to be a private practice, and don’t
generally even share it unless asked specifically.
I don’t want to police anyone else’s lifestyle or life
choices. I personally don’t find it any of my business or anyone else’s’ whether
you are gay, straight, or somewhere in between. None of my business what you
eat, what you wear, or what you believe, although I do find it incredibly sad
that so many people in this world look at others as inferior or dangerous when
they are just different, and don’t take the time to love and understand them.
Overall, I find people very interesting and like to find out
what makes them tick. It may be that they intrigue me for the long haul, or it
may be that I find out who they are and don’t need any further interaction. Then
the conundrum is to figure out a way to tactfully withdraw without hurting
anyone’s feelings.
All of this is going through my mind as I’m hand stitching
the binding on a baby quilt. I’ve got decisions to make, and think I know the
answers.
No comments:
Post a Comment